Now 25% MORE evil!! March 28, 2007

I’ve finally managed to pull some of Sweetpea’s hair into pigtails. Is it just me or do they make her look slightly evil in an uber-cute way?

A Kept Woman Once More March 27, 2007

Tonight is the eve of my last day in my short stint of employment. For those who didn’t know, I started babysitting a friend’s 1-year-old in the middle of February. Due to changes with the other care provider (I only had her Mondays and Tuesdays) our friends have switched her into full-time daycare starting April 1.

On the one hand, I’m sort of sad. Hailey is a sweet little cuddly bear and it’s fun when she and my kids play. It’s also been very nice having a paycheck since money has been increasingly tight for us.

On the other hand I’m relieved. It’s hard taking care of a kid younger than my youngest, especially since she doesn’t walk yet and I spend a lot of time carrying her. Although the extra time it takes to care for her during the day isn’t enormous, it’s one more thing added to my plate, and Sweetpea’s been running me off my feet as it is lately. I’ve been short-tempered with my kids on the days I babysit and it makes me feel incredibly guilty. I don’t like being that kind of mom.

I’d also been struggling with the choice whether I would continue to care for Hailey in the fall. For those who don’t yet know, we’ve made the decision to homeschool Button starting in September. While it’s something about which I’m hugely excited, I’m also willing to admit that I’m intimidated by the prospect of keeping up on my regular work in the home, jumping through the various toddler hoops with Sweetpea, and homeschooling Button on top of it all. I think that babysitting even part-time would have been enough to make me crash and burn for certain.

In all I’m looking forward to being unemployed. We’ve adjusted already this month to tightening the purse strings just a little bit more so I’m not too worried about the money. I’m looking forward to decreasing my stress level even if it does feel like I’m admitting defeat. I’m not very good at noticing when I’m in over my head. I guess that’s why I married a guy who can always bring me back to center.

And so, I return once more into the land of the income-less.

The sound…of silence March 24, 2007

I’ve been feeling the need for space lately. Maybe it’s the fresh air of spring, or maybe it’s how smothered I feel sometimes by Sweetpea’s abundance of energy.

Whatever the case, I’m feeling the way I’m feeling.

I got Bear to move the computer out of the kitchen and into the office. Our kitchen feels so big now. When the kids play it echoes. I moved the kitchen table and there’s all this space. There’s also this juicy silence without the constant hum of the computer.

I’ve been listening to the radio less and less. I’m listening to my cd’s a bit, but more and more I’m just turning everything off. When I’m alone the utter silence is refreshing. When the kids are around I more fully pay attention to what they’re saying.

I’ve started cleaning out the storage room with plans to have a garage sale. Goodbye unused baby stuff. (Does this mean we’re done having kids? I don’t know…) See you later shoes that I never wear but wish I did.

I bought a book tonight about healthy homes. It has sections about the air, light, and color of rooms. It touches on feng shui and environmentalism. I’ve been drooling over the pictures of beautiful homes. Some have been built into hillsides, others have been made out of renovated warehouses or barns. I love it.

I listened to a radio program recently where the guest discussed the idea of slow homes. It’s based on the idea of the slow food movement. The idea is that we should value our homes for what they are and not the money they represent or the expectation of re-sale. We should appreciate that our homes are the places where we’re raising our children and creating memories. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what this means to me and how this translates into how our home will be set up. What would our home look like if it truly reflected our needs and desires without conforming to society’s expectations and influence?

Photo Time March 13, 2007

I haven’t posted pictures in ages and since I just dumped a bunch of photos from the camera onto the computer today I thought this would be a good time.

My brother, his wife, and their baby were out for a visit last month. Here we all are at church. (And no I don’t have a tree growing out of my head. It’s some sort of Lenten decoration thingy.)

Trina and my kids. Can you believe she’s only 7 months? She’s heavier than Sweetpea already! I could squeeze those cheeks all day.

A random image of what happens when we leave the kids alone with my parents so we can go out for a date.

Sweetpea showing off her fancy outfit that Auntie Meghan gave her for Christmas.

My family of hoodies. Button was sick in case you can’t tell.

My kids along with Hailey, our recent “addition”. I take care of her on Mondays and Tuesdays. She’s 13 months and oh-so-adorable. She puts up with a lot from Sweetpea!

This is us today after picking up Button from the bus. Hailey on the front and Sweetpea on the back.

Oops March 9, 2007

There should be a health warning on vegetables.

Last month I lopped off the tip of my thumb chopping red peppers. Today I sliced off a piece of my index finger dicing some carrots. Le sigh.

Can I somehow blame this on Krista? I was after all using the mandolin she gave us as a wedding gift.

It’s very annoying, by the way, to be dealing with mopping up blood when you’re following one of those obnoxious recipes that wants various ingredients added after a very specific amount of minutes. I can’t clean up my finger and chop at the same time damnit. If supper tastes odd tonight, Bear, I apologize.

And here I thought that homemade meals made from nice fresh veggies was supposed to be GOOD for your health.

Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun March 8, 2007

My God, I forgot how much I missed the sun.

According to the nifty Weather Eye feature in my toolbar, it warmed up to a balmy +10 today. I’m sure it was closer to 15 on my deck, though, judging by the fact that Sweetpea stripped down to the buff and played outside for a good 45 minutes without getting chilly. The only thing that got her dressed was that she wanted to go play in the snow. I couldn’t help but laugh at her as I watched her bare little bum jiggling in the sunshine as she ran around.

I had big plans for my day today. I was going to go for a walk in the ravine and run some errands of some sort. The kind of errands didn’t matter so much as me just getting out of the house did. Instead, I ended up being drawn outside by the golden sunshine which poured over my deck and I never did end up leaving the house. I snacked and read while Sweetpea explored the deck then the yard. It’s been about five months since we’ve spent a significant amount of time in our back yard and it was like a whole new world to her.

As I basked in the warmth of the sun, I realized just how much I’d missed its ability to leave me feeling deeply satisfied. Feeling the fresh air on my bare arms I felt more alive than I’d felt in months. When I came back in the house I was struck by just how dead the air inside is. There are no breezes, no tastes, no sounds of birds or squirrels. There’s just air that sits there. And does nothing.

On days like today I wonder what it would be like to winter in a warmer climate, one where I could be outside year-round. I love the moderate summers around here but I could certainly do without the bone-chilling weeks that seem to stretch out forever.